Dear Prospective Employers:

Dear Prospective Employers:

I'm smart. During my life, I've participated in a number of vocations, including a lifetime of grocery work (thanks to Strohecker's Fine Foods in Portland, Oregon), telemarketing, law firm temp work, juice delivery, collections, car sales, carpet cleaning, bagel-deli/sandwich maker, financial counseling in healthcare, and many years as an educator.

It's obvious that I'm skilled. It's fairly apparent I'm a "people person" given that 99% of my vocations have worked with the public. The carpet cleaning gig was short-lived and I interacted with clunky machines and the usage/dumpage of toxic chemicals (imagine the scene in Nat'l Lampoon's Xmas Vacation when Cousin Eddie --Randy Quaid-- cleans out the dumper into the storm drain... high-larious!) and one rather avoidable lesbian named Jess.

I'm funny. Obviously, I can type. I know how to file both numerically and alphabetically and can train people how to file, or to make coffee, or teach them how to drive a forklift,to read and multiply numbers, or steam up a pot of milk for a cappuccino. Oh, and I have a Master's of Fine Arts in Writing. So, I'm oedjakayded enough to know how to edit, revise, and listen to & apply others' opinions regarding improvement or depletion/deletion.

What up, employers? Why no job offers? Why no pounding on my door with multi-year contracts and sacks of cash in your outstretched hands?
If my talented friends are getting laid off, then why not hire someone like me who's capable in all areas but not a threat to any of those upper -management, single-minded MBA peops who only think within the box whereas I am and out-of-box doer and multi-faceted multi-tasker? Just think of me as the model octopus employee with two eyes and an endoskeleton.

Pick me! Pick me!

Thank you.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding these positions. I can interview for nearly any opportunity at any time.

BossyBeeHive/CMS