HP Customer Service: Simple is too Simple

Bought an HP desktop computer the other day. Did the whole thing online, you know, to customize it like some sort of sooped up car. Shiny, fast, a few whistles, a couple bells, silent, though, not all revved up with massive exhaust pipes and fans.



Took 7 days from order to front door FedEx delivery. Very exciting, getting a huge box - let alone any box - delivered via FedEx to the door. The doorbell Ding-donged! Cute guy in FedEx midnight blue shorts and shirt hauls up this coffin-sized box. Couldn't just leave it at the door like everything else; had to actually have a live human sign for it. Box was unmarked save for the white upc stickers. It could've been a dead body (or a bunch of fishes in newspaper)sent from Uncle Vinny, for all I knew. Heavy too.



Handle holes on the side allowed me to shoosh it inside the door and scare Basco and Gracie into a major sniff-a-thon. Dead body still scored high on the list, although if it were, I think both dogs would have rubbed their bodies all over the cardboard, just like the allure of a very post-mortem seagull or other maimed mammal in the woods. I bent down next to them and, yes, sniffed too. No pronounceable or obvious scents to alert Horatio & the Miami CSI folks about.



Dragged the boxes (monitor came separately) up to the kitchen where I'd already disassembled the archaic 5 year old computer. Opened the giant box and found, of course, the sleek black computer and its sidecar box of accessories: speakers, keyboard, mouse, you know all the goodies.



Pulled everything out, laid it onto the floor and followed the simple 6-step pictograph poster for Installing Your New HP Computer. Easy peezy. Monitor-check. Speakers-check. Keyboard & mouse wireless usb thing-check.

Finally, "Step 5: Connect Power. Connect computer to electrical outlet." Seems easy enough. Hmm. Where's the 3-prong power cord? Searched through the casket box. Nothing. Scanned the styro-packing. Nothing. Dug through the keyboard, monitor, and accoutrement packaging. Nothing but black twist-ties and empty plastic bags. Foraged under the desk and in Gracie's toy basket (just in case). Nothing. Nowhere.

A brand spankin' new HP computer with snappy little speakers - and shoebox sized woofer, too!- a glossy monitor and only air to draw the electricity from the wall to the computer. This seemed strange to me: was this one of those 'accessories not included' things like Malibu Barbie's van and yellow polka-dotted bikini?

From the home phone, called HP Customer Svc. and explained the situation, in short, 'There's no power cord in the box.'
HPSC: Ma'am, what's the part number for this?
Home: What part number? It's a power cord.
HPSC: On your inventory list, it should have a part number.
Home: (Review inventory list) There's no part number because it's a power card. It connects the computer to the electrical outlet in the wall.
HPSC: If it's not listed in your inventory list then it must be sold separately.
Home: It's a power cord, it's not an accessory. It gives the computer the electrical energy.
HPSC: Let me transfer you to I.T. Perhaps they can help you with this.
Home: There's nothing for I.T. to do because there's no power. There's no technical assistance I need because there's no electricity running to the computer. I just need the power cord.
HPSC: I understand what you're saying ma'am, but if it's not listed in your inventory and you didn't add it in to your computer purchase then it's not included.
Home: It's a computer! It needs electricity! It doesn't run on batteries. All I need is the electrical cord that attaches to the computer and the electrical outlet.
HPSC: It sounds like you need a Power Supply Box.
Home: Fine, if that's what you call an electrical cord, then yes, I suppose a Power Supply Box is needed.
HPSC: I'm sorry for your inconvenience in all this. We will credit you $x for this inconvenience.
Home: Thank you. So you're sending a power cord?
HPSC: Yes ma'am. We'll be sending you a Power Supply Box soon.
Home: Soon? No. I've spent $xx on this computer and because of HP's mistake, I can't turn it on. You'll be sending it to me via FedEx next day or overnight.
HPSC: Yes ma'am. Again, I'm sorry for your inconvenience. We'll send you the Power Supply Box overnight.
Home: Thank you.
--click--
That was Saturday.
On Tuesday, a heavy package arrived via FedEx on the doorstep. Surprised at the box's girth and weightiness, I opened it immediately, thinking that they must have included the inconvenience $$ credit inside as a sack of coins.

I withdrew the double-layer bubble-wrapped contents. Indeed, it was a Power Supply Box. This, btw, is a 3"x 5" x 5" metal box with the (innie) outlet on one side and about 50 multi-colored wires poking out the other. At the terminal end of said wires are plastic things, meant for plugging into some other matched-up pokey things within the bowels of the computer, not unlike the serial port attachments, only way smaller and more of them.

I checked the box. I checked the bubble wrap. I checked the packing slip which said "Please find the enclosed replacement part sent to you by HP Express Parts Program....Your product is ready for installation..."
I looked outside the front door just in case I missed something, like, oh, another package containing a Power Cord.
There was none.