Surgerical Removal and Loss

We're always talking about surgical removal of wrinkles, bunions, tumors, warts, and extractions of impacted teeth. I'd like to discuss the surgical removal of space.
Not as in Space, The Final Frontier, but space, as in the gap between bone and tendon,the crevasse between at-rest and forward movement.

Last week, I subjected myself to the closing of a 3.5cm gap between my right humerus and my supra- and infraspinatus tendons and muscles. Shorn right off they were, nary a tab hung in the wind to which my surgeon could reattach. He opted for four titanium - Super Power I like to call them - screws and a bunch of Kevlar suture by which to lasso these muscles to their metallic pier. Second time I've had some Kevlar sewn into this shoulder. I should, essentially be bullet proof by now.

But it's the gap to which I refer here. The gap that allowed so much to occur and fall to the wayside. The cavern of air in which energy was lost and desired outcomes not completed. I had no idea how large this was until I was told recently, and by then, it seemed that there was so much damage, a repair seemed delayed, essentially late. Like wanting to see the tide roll in at dawn but waking up after the sunrise and discovering the beach and all cool shells are already swimming under water.

It has been repaired, though. And now, the pain ensues. The sutures have closed the gap, healing must follow, but not before so much damage has already occurred behind it. Closing the trench only seals a part of the wound that ripped apart long ago, little by little until, at last, it laid, open-mouthed, untethered, and basically ignored or unnoticed. Loss of life in this forward moving structure during these past couple years has made the recovery and rehabilitation a little more painful.

Look ahead, don't forget what occurred in the past to make this injury come about, learn from it, grow from it, and renew. It hurts, yes, but, ideally, it will get better and ultimately, the ache, loss, and pain will subside. Like a surgical removal of loss, perhaps now I can have a surgical removal and replacement of what disappeared in this vacuous gully.

I want to heal this wound and recover and grow from what still remains.